An Intro

To start, I thought it might be helpful to introduce myself more thoroughly than I've done on my funnel page. Many reasons drove me to create The Peaceful Living Project and to provide support to women living with anxiety and chronic stress, but the main reason was my experience with complex PTSD. (And sorry for the gigantic photo. I can't for the life of me find a way to make any photo of me smaller on here!)

I've lived through multiple traumas as both a child and an adult. All of it left me with a deep imprint of anxiety that accumulated from trauma to trauma.

Re: childhood trauma, something happened to me in my childhood that made me feel I was sexually abused. I say it that way because I don't know exactly what happened, but I know that something happened. I have never had a clear linear, visual memory of sexual abuse, but I have nearly all the 30+ documented aftereffects of a sexual abuse survivor; I have had countless dreams, visions, body memories, and extreme emotional releases that indicate abuse; every therapist I have worked with has said I was a textbook sexual abuse survivor; I have had episodes of hearing voices (commonly called "psychosis"), which happens most commonly to sexual abuse survivors, and the content of which indicated childhood trauma; and I have had family members corroborate my suspicions of abuse. No matter what exactly happened to me, I have had to live my life as a sexual abuse survivor because I have had all the hallmarks of one, most notably, severe and persistent anxiety and depression, addictions, a pervasive sense of being unsafe, cripplingly low self-esteem and trust in myself, and many mysterious physical ailments, both as a child and an adult. The fact that I don't have memories is just more evidence to support the notion that I was abused. One published therapist has estimated that 75% of her female caseload are survivors of sexual abuse who have no visual memories, and my current therapist says the same of her practice. Child sexual abuse is, sadly, exceedingly common, and it is more common not to remember than to remember.

But not remembering can be crazy-making. As if the other effects were not enough, not remembering has added a layer of confusion and pain to my process and story. I suspect that many women suffering from severe anxiety with no apparent explanation have lived a similar story. If any of this resonates, I would happily speak or work with you.

As an adult, I lived through a long, on-again, off-again relationship with a narcissist who did a number on my self-confidence. I also lived through a near-death kundalini awakening (an energetic event widely considered a form of spiritual awakening) that left me hospitalized for psychosis, medicated, confused about what had happened and what to do about it, and with many difficult-to-manage aftereffects, including more anxiety and self-critical beliefs. Before the awakening, I had become obsessed with attaining spiritual enlightenment and used my spiritual path as an attempt to escape from reality and pain, as a sort of addiction. After the awakening, I had to learn to come back to earth, so to speak, balance my spiritual life with a human life of responsibility, and heal my trauma using psychological and somatic tools instead of spiritual practices.

I'm sharing all of this because if you are considering working with me, I want you to know that my expertise, experience and coaching goes deeper than nutritional interventions, stress relief techniques, and home decluttering (in the event you are seeking more than that). My customer avatar is women with anxiety because anxiety was a constant in my life for a long time--I know it well and know many causes and remedies for it. But more than that, anxiety is a common symptom of trauma. By focusing on anxiety, I am hoping in part to attract clients who might not realize they have experienced trauma and to help them uncover and heal from it. I am also happy to work with clients who are well aware they have experienced trauma and are looking for someone who understands their brand of it. And for clients that are not trauma survivors, there are many other causes and remedies for anxiety we can explore.

This blog will cover a range of topics, from essays about my experiences and perspectives, to guidance for healing, to anxiety remedies, to what is "up" for me on a given day, to the occasional rant (which I encourage everyone to do in some form periodically--we all need a release valve!). I might even throw in an attempt at poetry from time to time!

Thank you for reading and I will be back soon!